Songs by Black People that are Way Better than Songs by White People: "Why I...
There's a lot goin' on with that collar. If you don't know MAJOR, you better ask somebody. Preferably a black person, because I asked around 12 different white people if they had ever heard of him and...
View ArticleObservations While Eating Pancakes on a Random Tuesday in a South Philly Diner
This is a picture of pancakes because this article has something to do with pancakes. I used to work with this guy named Brad, and he's exactly the type of Brad that you think he'd Brad.He drank Muscle...
View ArticleMommy Dead and Dearest: Wooooooooooooo, Dusty!
Wowzers bowzers.There's not many things in this world that deserve a "wowzers bowzers."The view from Macchu Picchu? Wowzers bowzers.Those hot breakfast scrambles that come in an iron skillet with...
View ArticleThe Bachelorette: Breaking Down the Micropeens
I do not talk about this man once in this post. Not once. A chick I know recently had her heart ripped out, stepped all over and thrown against a refrigerator. In the months since her ex-boyf broke up...
View ArticleIf You Didn't Watch the Miss America Pageant Last Night Then You Are Living a...
Google Image search: "Miss America's freshly shaved armpits."Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, Hurricane Irma hit and destroyed a bunch of homes and killed a bunch of people and it's also 9/11 and we'll all...
View ArticleSixers vs. Heat: 7 Not-Even-Close-to-Important Questions
Why is Richaun Holmes so out of frame in this pic?Despite the fact that they kicked Trevor Booker to the curb, the 2018 Philadelphia 76ers have gone on to become the greatest team in NBA...
View ArticleSixers vs. Heat: Game 2 Breakdown. Is it Time to Die?
I want Belinelli to kiss my belly. There’s an old saying: You live by the three, you die from cancer. It’s completely untrue. You can also die from AIDS or dysentery or in my case, sad and alone, from...
View ArticleEven Though There is No Reason to Watch The Bachelorette This Season, There...
Ugh, I'm sorry, buddy. I truly, truly am. At first glance, this season of the Bach seems the same as all the others.The Bachelorette is completely mole-less.There are three different guys named...
View ArticleThe Fact that Franklin the Dog has the Words "Franklin the Dog" Written on...
This is Franklin (the dog). There are a lot of things to complain about these days:Wildfires. The rising cost of milkshakes. Leaves.But the stupidest thing out there right now—and quite possibly the...
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