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The Evster Reviews the New Wu-Tang Album, A Better Tomorrow
Yo Raekwon could easily start at middle linebacker for Michigan State.Yo… yo… yo… I own a sweatshirt that says “Haters Gonna Hate”. It’s obviously stupid and completely ridiculous, but it’s also...
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MAJOR FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT: Zoo With Roy and I are doing play-by-play of the...
It's true!This Saturday afternoon, from some dingy smelly gym in Collegeville, PA, me and Zoo With Roy (never met him!) will be calling a college basketball game on Ursinus's sports website. I know,...
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Downton Abbey: S5 Ep1 Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce
That's honestly a nice-ass trophy don't even front.Before we discuss Lady Mary's desire to get boinked by multiple dudes (p.s. fuck you Lady Edith!), a quick word about our wonderful sponsor.Just...
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The Bachelor: America is Officially on Suicide Watch
BAREFOOT CRABWALK DOT COMAre we really gonna do this again? Are we really going to spend the next 12 weeks screaming at our television sets because a lady named her son Kale? I mean, don’t get me...
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The Bachelor: That Crazy Lady is not Even the Craziest Lady
Before we get it poppin fliggy floppin egg choppin this week (sorry), take a quick second to listen to this voice mail that my mother left me on Monday night. Calm down, it's only 25 seconds long. Just...
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Downton Abbey: S5 Ep2 Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce
Yo Lady Edith might not suck as much butt as we thought!!!Hey fartfaces, let's do this (even though it's four days late). As always, my man Turbo (underscore) Timmy is here to help me give out this...
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The Bachelor: K.I.T. Keep It Togetherrrrrrrrrrr
Nice cuke.When I was in high school, my buddy Jermaine came up with the ultimate comeback line. A line that was so lethal, and so versatile, that it could be used at any time, in any situation, and...
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Downton Abs S5 Ep 4: Primetime Performer Presented By A1® Steak Sauce
Wowzers.Hey all you hamburgers and cheeseburgers, it's time once again to give out this week's PPPBA1®SS! As always, I am joined by my main man, Turbo Underscore Timmy. Sorry we didn't give out an...
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The Bach: I'm Hooked, You're Hooked, Let's Just Embrace It
Best thing I've ever done on this website and you know it.To make money in this world, I work as a writer at an ad agency (NO ONE CARES, EV) and my creative director at work has a little strategy he...
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The Bach: Breaking Down the Most Bonks Ep of the Year
That's a stupid hat and you know it!Look, I don't want to be here either. You're not happy that you read this blog. I'm not happy about writing it. In fact, I LOATHE writing it. And we both hate...
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The Bach: Chris and Britt are the worst and so is everyone else except my cat...
In case you missed it the first 487 times I mentioned it on this blog, my wife and I recently got a kitten. His name is Frank. He is covered in fur. And he is supes dupes froop-a-doops cupes."Did...
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Oscar Preview w/ Feddd & Sara Circs: Best Actor & Actress
Hey Oscar, are you ready for the Oscars?"My name's Oscar!"How 'bout you Oscar Pistorius? "Help I just shot and killed my girlf! There's blood everywhere lol!"Ummm, wrong number Oscar lmao. No but...
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The Bach: Last night we met a guy named Laren. Yes, you read that right. Laren.
Wowzers bowzers.I am letting you know right off the bat that this entire post is about Laren. No, that's not even true, it's about the fact that there is a person in this world named Laren. In my 37...
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The Oscars: Best Picture Preview w/ Feddd and Sara Circs
Bottom left is unacceptable. I do not know what compelled me to publish two (2) separate Oscar preview posts. The Academy Awards aren’t even that interesting, and last week’s Best Actor/Actress preview...
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Some New #GoogSearches That Led People to TVMWMWMWMWMWMW
Goggle it!Welcome back to everybody's (or just @cranekicker's) favorite recurring post on the blog, #GoogSearches. For those of you who need things explained to you, here's what this is all aboot (ps...
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The Bach: You're a Lucky Woman, Kaitlyn. You are a Lucky, Lucky, Lucky,Lucky...
This is a horrible television show.The Bach is in Bali! (Not to be confused with Mali, which I may have done last night before I was corrected by my know-it-all wife.) Farmer Chris mentioned that Bali...
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Coming April 23rd -- The Hudsucker Proxy pt II -- Y'all Ain't Ready
This motherfucker I swear to God.Yo, no Bach post this week for two reasons:1. I tried watching that Women Tell All ep and couldn't handle it. I just couldn't handle it. Between Britt's hug and Britt...
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The Bach: The Most Dramatic Ending to the Most Dramatic Season Ever
RIP you goddamn angel.All year long, Harrison told us this was the most dramatic season ever. Week in and week out, he stood up there with THE SAME BORING HAIRCUT and delivered this message over and...
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT! The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst
I know!!!HOLY FUCKING SHIT.Look, I don't know what the hell you're doing right now, but stop doing it. Just stop. Call your boss. Cancel your appointment at #Great #Clips. Just put your stupid life on...
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